Disneyland was AMAZING. The real magic was watching my little girls eyes light up during the fireworks. She is so beautiful. I am really blessed to be her Mom and everyday I watch in awe as she transforms into a little lady. She has another loose tooth! When she hugs me and tells me she loves me, I am so grateful for my Mom and her strength. It's because of her Mom-ing that I have the courage to take this leap. I am excited to enjoy Christmas with 2 of my favourite gals.
Thursday, 15 December 2011
"Don't make yourself an island"
Orientation went great tonight. It was pretty refreshing to hear from some current students, and to put faces to some already familiar names. I still feel like throwing up though, but I am getting used to that feeling. To add to the nausea, I also feel very overwhelmed emotionally. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what's going on in me, but it just feels like alot. I know I can do it, I know that I am meant to do it, and I am certain`that I will be "fine", I think it's just the "it" that is causing some anxiety. What is class really going to be like? For me? How will it feel to be in clinical? PBL? What about waking up for 630 am clinical? What am I going to see, smell, and hear? and how will those things effect me? I could have a hundred people tell that I can do it, but until I know exactly what "it" is, I am going to have some level of doubt. What if I can't? What if it's too much? What if I screw up?....Even as I write, I know those thoughts are silly.....but this is a pretty big change for me, and for Paige. I am so lucky to have all of the support that I have, I have a feeling I am going to need it. Something that really stood out for me tonight was the comment by a level 3 student, "don't make yourself an island here, use each other for support". It's just that I am good at being an island...I call it "independent" :)...It's pretty clear that I will be doing a lot of learning over the next 3 years, and not just about Nursing. I'm ready. The change will be good. I just need to organize....everything. A few more things to buy in the next couple of weeks and I will be as ready as possible.
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Really?
I bought some books today for the program. 360 bucks from craigslist, for 6 or 7 books. I feel really sick. It is starting to sink in that I actually have to start school full time in only 1 month....I am so nervous. Being accepted was such a huge relief and a big accomplishment considering where I started, but now I actually have to do it! Lately I have been feeling very confident, ready, and eager....then I saw the size of my textbooks :( I might throw up....It's 3 years....that's a long time!......I also have a big final exam on Saturday, I leave for Disneyland on Monday and another big final when I get home....not to mention I am still tired from Vegas (I know I know, what a rough life ;) I tell everyone that I can do it, that I am ready, that I have no worries about school...but really? It's terrifying. I am 29 years old and I am throwing myself into one of the most intense Nursings programs out there! Will I have enough time to work?, to play with my princess?, to snuggle my man? to even have a shower??? It's fear of the unknown...that's always been the issue. Once I'm in it, it will be ok....right?? I mean people don't die from Nursing school......
My baby turned 6 last week. We had a wonderful party and she was a perfect hostess. yikes...I suppose if 6 years can go by at the speed of light, I will manage 3. She seems to be growing everyday, I feel sad that I have to miss even a moment of that. I try to think about all of the fun times we will have when I work 4 on 4 off, get paid holidays, and make enough money to take her travelling. I'm doing this for us....kind of hard to explain to a 6 year old.....One day at a time......One day at a time.....
My baby turned 6 last week. We had a wonderful party and she was a perfect hostess. yikes...I suppose if 6 years can go by at the speed of light, I will manage 3. She seems to be growing everyday, I feel sad that I have to miss even a moment of that. I try to think about all of the fun times we will have when I work 4 on 4 off, get paid holidays, and make enough money to take her travelling. I'm doing this for us....kind of hard to explain to a 6 year old.....One day at a time......One day at a time.....
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
I'm In!
I'M IN! I'M IN! I'm in a little bit of shock still.... On Friday October 28 at around 445 pm, I received the email notifying me that a seat has been reserved for me and as long as I supply the outstanding documents (Birth certificate, WHIMIS, CPR HCP, fit testing, Immunization review, medical form, criminal record check) I will start the Nursing program on Jan 9 2012... I am sooooooooo excited! I bought 3 pairs of scrubs today, which I will need for simulation labs at school and my clinical rotations (which start week 2!) I brought my immunization form to BCIT health services and had the Nurse go over it with me. I was sent to get some blood work done to check my Hep B immunity to see if I need that series of shots, and I was told that I will be getting a booster in January. I have already completed CPR training and am just waiting on more instructions for the WHIMIS and Fit testing. I am so excited and totally nervous. I applied (and was approved) for a tuition deferral since my student loan won't kick in until Jan. I am in the process of figuring out after school care for little P, since Kids club is only available Mon-Wed.... Hopefully her Daddy can help out Thursday and Friday if needed.
I am really trying to focus on my 2 courses that are in progress, but am finding myself getting easily distracted searching for videos on IV start ups, and Neonatal Nursing. Sadly my Family/Maternity clinical isn't until 2nd year...but I know I have a lot to learn before then! I know I am capable of anything, but the task ahead is a little overwhelming. Full time school, plus work, plus being a good Mommy, plus keeping myself healthy....It will be a bit of a balancing act to say the least.
In the next 9 weeks (and 4 days) before classes start, I have planned a 4 day trip to Vegas with #1 sis, a 5 day trip to Disneyland with #1BF, and #1Kitty, Paige will turn 6, Christmas is coming fast and bringing a much needed visit with #1Mommy, I have to spend 1000 bucks on textbooks and attend orientation on Dec 15, 2 final exams...each worth 30 percent of my final grade.......plus I have to work, lose 5 pounds, organize a study space for myself and try to relax before the whirl wind of Nursing school hits!
Wish me luck? I am gonna need it!
xoxo
Alana (officially a Nursing Student)
I am really trying to focus on my 2 courses that are in progress, but am finding myself getting easily distracted searching for videos on IV start ups, and Neonatal Nursing. Sadly my Family/Maternity clinical isn't until 2nd year...but I know I have a lot to learn before then! I know I am capable of anything, but the task ahead is a little overwhelming. Full time school, plus work, plus being a good Mommy, plus keeping myself healthy....It will be a bit of a balancing act to say the least.
In the next 9 weeks (and 4 days) before classes start, I have planned a 4 day trip to Vegas with #1 sis, a 5 day trip to Disneyland with #1BF, and #1Kitty, Paige will turn 6, Christmas is coming fast and bringing a much needed visit with #1Mommy, I have to spend 1000 bucks on textbooks and attend orientation on Dec 15, 2 final exams...each worth 30 percent of my final grade.......plus I have to work, lose 5 pounds, organize a study space for myself and try to relax before the whirl wind of Nursing school hits!
Wish me luck? I am gonna need it!
xoxo
Alana (officially a Nursing Student)
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Shortlisted
Today is good day. Today I got one step closer to the life I am trying to create. (Today was actually OCT 5). There were approximately 700 applicants for the program. 180 have been shortlisted. I am one of them. There are 96 seats for the Jan start, so I'm still treading in deep waters, but trust me when I tell you the excitement I am feeling right now, is something I plan to hang on to until the bitter end. I want this so badly, so I stay positive and do everything in my power to try and will it into my reality....and yet it is so far out of my control. What if I get in? lol. It's just that all my hard work is 'almost' paying off. I have to write a letter of intent and collect my references....HOLY COW!!! shortlisted.....finally! I almost didn't write this entry because I didn't want to jinx my chances...stupid huh? I have learned from my little princess that every achievement deserves celebration. Being in the top 25% is certainly an achievement. I can do this! I've got this....and if I don't get in...which is ridiculous....I'll get 'em next time.
I started receiving emails last night that some of the other members on my regular forums had been shortlisted....i started to panic. "where is my letter", "why haven't I been shortlisted?"... "oh no, they don't want me"....the mind is an amazing thing. I totally created this alternate world where they were picking from the best to the worst and I was not even going to get a letter at all. This morning I woke up, checked my email every 5 minutes for about 3 hours then decided I couldn't take it anymore. I emailed the contact I had in the Nursing department, told her I felt sick to my stomach about it, and asked for any insight she could offer. She said many nice things including that my application was well received and I had been shortlisted....also that they were going in alphabetical order :) not the best to worst scenario I had invented.....I have had butterflies ever since. I picked up Paige early and took her on a dinner date to celebrate. I'm still in shock a little bit but so grateful for this acknowledgement. Just being considered, I feel, validates most of the long hours I have put into my studies. MOST, not all. :) Staying positive that things will work out in my favour
xoxo
I started receiving emails last night that some of the other members on my regular forums had been shortlisted....i started to panic. "where is my letter", "why haven't I been shortlisted?"... "oh no, they don't want me"....the mind is an amazing thing. I totally created this alternate world where they were picking from the best to the worst and I was not even going to get a letter at all. This morning I woke up, checked my email every 5 minutes for about 3 hours then decided I couldn't take it anymore. I emailed the contact I had in the Nursing department, told her I felt sick to my stomach about it, and asked for any insight she could offer. She said many nice things including that my application was well received and I had been shortlisted....also that they were going in alphabetical order :) not the best to worst scenario I had invented.....I have had butterflies ever since. I picked up Paige early and took her on a dinner date to celebrate. I'm still in shock a little bit but so grateful for this acknowledgement. Just being considered, I feel, validates most of the long hours I have put into my studies. MOST, not all. :) Staying positive that things will work out in my favour
xoxo
Monday, 12 September 2011
Time goes so Fast
Well everyone, it's official. My baby is in grade one!! First few days have gone smoothly....and she has become a teenager overnight... she still loves to snuggle though so I am thankful for that. I started ethics and anatomy, both online, last week. I am enjoying them both although I feel that ALOT of memorization is in my near future....I know quite well the difference between pulmonary and respiratory systems now, as well as the major difference between ethics and morals and how we develop and shape these. I still haven't heard from BCIT but I did run into an old customer at the Rusty Gull tonight who, to make a long story short, might be able to put in a good word.....the things people say when they have had a couple drinks though....can't really take that too seriously. I have a good feeling. All I can do is wait and enjoy the experience of possibility. I may not know my future for certain, but that might be what keeps me going. A maybe is always better than a no. Tomorrow (or today I guess) is Monday. Time to start another week. Time to hit the gym and the books...and the salad :)
My little angel lost her first tooth tonight. I'm sad that I couldn't be there but with the way it was just hanging on, I knew it couldn't last. Time goes so fast. This is something that I am learning as I go along. The speed of time is not measured in seconds, but in moments, in memories. It's the moments that keep zipping by, the memories that fade. The seconds will tick and the hours pass, but those measurements can only be validated by the moments that fill them. It seems no matter how hard I try to breath in the beauty of the world, things are just zipping by. I am a Mother, to a grade one girl who is missing one tooth.......and yet just yesterday she was learning to walk. Where does it go? Time....And while my baby seems to be growing at the speed of light, when it comes to my career moving forward and the application process for school, time seems to be standing still.
I love hiking. I really didn't do much of it until the last couple of years, but I love it so much. Especially in Vancouver. I guess it's time to hit the grind again tomorrow. For now, I must sleep. It's late and I'm tired. I have a lunch date with a very special little lady tomorrow. Talk to you soon
xo
My little angel lost her first tooth tonight. I'm sad that I couldn't be there but with the way it was just hanging on, I knew it couldn't last. Time goes so fast. This is something that I am learning as I go along. The speed of time is not measured in seconds, but in moments, in memories. It's the moments that keep zipping by, the memories that fade. The seconds will tick and the hours pass, but those measurements can only be validated by the moments that fill them. It seems no matter how hard I try to breath in the beauty of the world, things are just zipping by. I am a Mother, to a grade one girl who is missing one tooth.......and yet just yesterday she was learning to walk. Where does it go? Time....And while my baby seems to be growing at the speed of light, when it comes to my career moving forward and the application process for school, time seems to be standing still.
I love hiking. I really didn't do much of it until the last couple of years, but I love it so much. Especially in Vancouver. I guess it's time to hit the grind again tomorrow. For now, I must sleep. It's late and I'm tired. I have a lunch date with a very special little lady tomorrow. Talk to you soon
xo
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Pending Department Review
Well I guess I can't officially call myself a nursing student because I have yet to be accepted into the Program at BCIT. I have, however been taking courses over the past 1.5 years, directly out of the RN program to up my chances of being accepted. I am 29...ugh...and have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. I won't go into too many personals here, except to say, it has been quite a road that has led me to pursue a career in nursing. When I finally decided to go for it, I felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was making the right choice. That feels good. I applied to the Jan 2012 intake in the 3rd week of June and I won't find out if I am even shortlisted until September or October. This has been quite a lesson in patience.....I am so ready to get started!
The program has something like 600 applicants and only 85 seats. Many applicants already have degrees (so I have heard), which is more than my 63 post secondary credits...45 of which are from an acting diploma....Hollywood never came knocking but I think it's for the best ;) If I don't get in for Jan, I will have to apply for August....keeping my fingers crossed for Jan for so many reasons.
In just 3 short weeks I will be starting into business ethics and anatomy/physiology, as well as heading back to my volunteer position in the PICU at a local hospital.....I am so excited. Not only that, but my baby will be starting grade 1. I am so proud of her and so scared at the same time. Sometimes I just wish I could keep her safe by my side at all times....I know kids can be mean in school....but of course, she needs to grow up. I have many worries about going back to school full time, not being able to spend enough quality time with her, since her time is already divided between her Father and I ....I have to trust that we will find a way. It's only 3 years, we will MAKE time :) I suppose I need to get INTO school first.
As of today (and since July 19) my application status reads "pending department review"....I hear it will stay that way until I get an acceptance offer which will be Nov 30 at the latest....sigh...I will keep you updated on that and my pre nursing studies, as well as the adventures of being a mommy and a student....and a waitress....and and and :) you get the picture.
welcome to my blog
The program has something like 600 applicants and only 85 seats. Many applicants already have degrees (so I have heard), which is more than my 63 post secondary credits...45 of which are from an acting diploma....Hollywood never came knocking but I think it's for the best ;) If I don't get in for Jan, I will have to apply for August....keeping my fingers crossed for Jan for so many reasons.
In just 3 short weeks I will be starting into business ethics and anatomy/physiology, as well as heading back to my volunteer position in the PICU at a local hospital.....I am so excited. Not only that, but my baby will be starting grade 1. I am so proud of her and so scared at the same time. Sometimes I just wish I could keep her safe by my side at all times....I know kids can be mean in school....but of course, she needs to grow up. I have many worries about going back to school full time, not being able to spend enough quality time with her, since her time is already divided between her Father and I ....I have to trust that we will find a way. It's only 3 years, we will MAKE time :) I suppose I need to get INTO school first.
As of today (and since July 19) my application status reads "pending department review"....I hear it will stay that way until I get an acceptance offer which will be Nov 30 at the latest....sigh...I will keep you updated on that and my pre nursing studies, as well as the adventures of being a mommy and a student....and a waitress....and and and :) you get the picture.
welcome to my blog
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