"Don't make yourself an island"

Orientation went great tonight.  It was pretty refreshing to hear from some current students, and to put faces to some already familiar names. I still feel like throwing up though, but I am getting used to that feeling. To add to the nausea, I also feel very overwhelmed emotionally. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what's going on in me, but it just feels like alot. I know I can do it, I know that I am meant to do it, and I am certain`that I will be "fine", I think it's just the "it" that is causing some anxiety.  What is class really going to be like? For me? How will it feel to be in clinical? PBL? What about waking up for 630 am clinical? What am I going to see, smell, and hear? and how will those things effect me? I could have a hundred people tell that I can do it, but until I know exactly what "it" is, I am going to have some level of doubt. What if I can't? What if it's too much? What if I screw up?....Even as I write, I know those thoughts are silly.....but this is a pretty big change for me, and for Paige. I am so lucky to have all of the support that I have, I have a feeling I am going to need it. Something that really stood out for me tonight was the comment by a level 3 student, "don't make yourself an island here, use each other for support". It's just that I am good at being an island...I call  it "independent" :)...It's pretty clear that I will be doing a lot of learning over the next 3 years, and not just about Nursing. I'm ready. The change will be good. I just need to organize....everything. A few more things to buy in the next couple of weeks and I will be as ready as possible.

Disneyland was AMAZING. The real magic was watching my little girls eyes light up during the fireworks. She is so beautiful. I am really blessed to be her Mom and everyday I watch in awe as she transforms into a little lady. She has another loose tooth! When she hugs me and tells me she loves me, I am so grateful for my Mom and her strength. It's because of her Mom-ing that I have the courage to take this leap. I am excited to enjoy Christmas with 2 of my favourite gals.