I am forcing myself to take 5 minutes to add an entry because the whole reason I started this thing, was so I could document "as I go".....apparently "going" is pretty much all I can handle these days. I made it through week 6 (holy crap) and am on my second cold bug.....and this one is more like an upper resp infection that is also affecting my lungs....awesome. I have gained a few pounds (but am re committing myself to proper nutrition and exercise), made some amazing friends, given up on fantasies about 'pleasure reading' and 'TV nights', increased my caffeine tolerance by 300 percent, discovered my favourite Brand (or 2) of scrubs, questioned my sanity, and have somehow stayed on top of paying the bills, playing with Paige, book fairs, groceries, car maintenance (new 350 dollar air hose, pfffft) and maintaining my relationship with #1BF.......And that's just scratching the surface!
I can now do a full set of vitals, a head to toe assessment, including focused assessments, morning care, mobility/transfers, restraints and more. Med administration starts week 7. I know so much more about stroke, heart failure, pneumonia, inflammation, phenomenology, humanism, empathy and contact precautions....getting to know tumours.. and I have seen, heard, and smelled ALOT of interesting things in the past 6 weeks!
Paige is doing quite well with her new schedule and we really enjoy our dinner talks about school. She is growing so fast and I seem to love her more everyday. I am so blessed to have such love in my life.
I am starting to get to know myself as a Nurse. I like this part of me. I have such a natural commitment to advocacy, it seems to be at the root of my being. I feel a real sense of responsibility, compassion, and care for my patients and I love to provide care for them....even if they aren't always super thrilled to see me :) I am still a little nervous when I get to the hospital, but I feel such a sense of duty that the nerves get pushed to the background. I feel at home in this role and it just "feels right", I mean it feels hard, and scary, and like so much more than I can handle some days, but in the core of my being it feels like home. That is an overwhelming feeling in itself, finally discovering what I want to be when I grow up. That little truth, that 'knowing' is what keeps me grounded, it is the calm in the centre of my whirlwind of a life. I have 2 midterms tomorrow, clinical on Tuesday including midterm evaluation and a quick patient presentation, clinical and another exam on Wednesday, PBL group thingy and 5 drug cards due on Thursday and sweet, sweet Pathophysiology on Friday.....Oh and I work Thursday night and Saturday night....It's a lot......I try to focus on that little nugget of truth..."I am exactly where I am meant to be".
Almost....I mean right now 'exactly where I am supposed to be' is studying patho notes, so I will get back to that. I am tired, determined, full of hope, and focused....20 sleeps 'til spring break.
xoxo
Alana- Student Nurse
