The Power of Reflection

As I sit here, bored out of my mind, 8 days into summer break, I am forced to reflect on all I have to be grateful for. I have my health. I have a job. I have an amazing family that supports me. I am in love. I have rich relationships. I have a beautiful, smart, funny daughter, who wants nothing more than to share her experiences with me....I have food in my fridge, I have the freedom to go where ever, do whatever I want. I can speak my mind....I can speak. I have a heart that beats all on it's own....I can breath. I can see the beauty that surrounds me. I have love. I have choices. I have hope.... I trust that that life itself is leading me to precisely where I need to be...even if that means right here, right now....on my couch looking in. I have been so busy with school, and as you know have loved every moment...but I sometimes  forgot to breath. Sometimes, to just calm the mind, re-center....I think sacrificing that special time for myself is what lead to such anxiety. Sure I was going to the gym... once in a while...that was "me time"...pffffttt, not really. I went because I know I HAVE to exercise to be healthy....and any ways, as lovely as it is, the BCIT fitness centre doesn't quite have the zen quality I was missing. Yoga from now on....

I did really well this term. I am not even talking about grades because I have decided the actual percentage marks are fairly irrelevant....yes I said it...coming from the girl once OBSESSED with straight A's...they don't matter. At least not quite as much as experience, the process of learning, and the power of reflection.....sometimes it's better to make a mistake, than to mistakenly think you have nothing to learn....because we are all learning, all the time. I was a great student, I was never late, I never missed a class, and I got decent grades...I forgot to breath I think....It was so much stuff so fast and I wanted to do it right, I forgot to appreciate that I could do it, at all. 

I am blessed, to live in a Country where I am free to choose to go to school for whatever I want, I have access to resources that can help with the financial stress, I have a way to transport myself to and from school everyday, and I have access to facilities where I can practice my newly learned skills. I am blessed. Every choice you make, leads you to the next one.....I am blessed that I have so many choices.

I have decided that just because my body can breath on it's own, while I check out mentally and think about something else, doesn't mean that it should...I think I need to re-learn to be ok with relaxing...just breathing....because when I choose to be quiet inside, everything becomes clearer, and that creates a positive energy in the world, instead of a crazy one...

I have a lot to be thankful for...and I am.. I think I might actually read a book......FOR PLEASURE.......how awesome is that!

xoxo Alana